Party Earth Review With a menu created by a dietician, sugar-free mixers at the bar, and only light and organic beers on tap, FunXion is the kind of place where patrons might enjoy a fat-free carob smoothie at one table and a cucumber-infused... ... read full review
1309 F Street NW
Washington, DC 20004
Blue, Orange, Red Lines: Metro Center
M–Th 11am–10pm, F–Sa 11–6am
DOWNTOWN WASHINGTON, DC –
With a menu created by a dietician, sugar-free mixers at the bar, and only light and organic beers on tap, FunXion is the kind of place where patrons might enjoy a fat-free carob smoothie at one table and a cucumber-infused hempseed martini at the next.
During the day, the modern, colorful bar fills up with fit-conscious business professionals trying to keep their waist size in check with low calorie, no salt-, butter-, or oil-added pizzas and wraps. Trendy girlfriends gossip over smoothies at the long juice bar, or gear up for an afternoon on the town with a few biodynamic wines and fresh specialty cocktails.
Come 10pm, however, FunXion’s alter ego – appropriately named DysFunXion – emerges, and the collection of bright abstract artwork starts flashing under a technicolor light show as sophisticated patrons in floral dresses and button-down shirts pack in for a sultry scene of music and dancing.
DJs spin from a sleek booth overlooking the party below, as couples cozy up till dawn on red and white couches in the mezzanine lounge, trying to figure out which organic mix to add to their shot glasses next.
Fit-functional by day and dysfunctional by night, FunXion is for people who demand that even their booze be healthy.
Fitness-conscious young professionals, trendy club-goers, gym rats, and night owls, early 20s to mid-30s.
Top 40 until 2am, followed by house, dubstep, and electro mixes. Promotional events during the week. Check website for schedule.
Healthy selection of smoothies, salads, pizzas, wraps, sandwiches, and burgers. Small outdoor patio.
Appetizers $5–$7, sandwiches, burgers and wraps $6–$8, salads and pizza $7–$16. Beer $5–$9, wine $7–$11/glass or $21–$99/bottle, mixed drinks $7–$18, specialty cocktails $12+, smoothies $6–$9.
Suits and business attire during the week, jeans and buttons-downs, dresses, and flounced miniskirts on weekends.
Friday and Saturday nights after midnight when the first level turns into a dance floor and the music kicks up a notch.
Lotus (1420 K Street NW) is an elegant lounge shaped like a lotus flower, where patrons reach tranquility by dancing beneath an abundance of Buddha statues.