Five Hidden Gems in San Francisco

Effort Required: Easy to find, impossible to avoid Stephen King jokes!

The 1,500-acre wooded expanse of The Presidio is a famed city attraction – and the name of a killer film starring the trifecta of awesomeness Sean Connery, Mark Harmon, and Meg Ryan before she fell into a vat of Botox – but even most longtime locals don’t know about the pet cemetery hidden on the northeast grounds. The Presidio was a heavily guarded military post for almost two-centuries before it was converted to mostly public grounds, and during its Army days in the 1950s the soldier families living here needed a place to lay their (mostly) four-legged friends to rest. Roughly two-thousand traditional headstones dot the cemetery, each etched with insignia ranging from the banal (“Willie: Pet Hamster”) to the beautiful simplistic (“Mr. Iguana”) to the creatively cute (“Trouble…he was no trouble”). It’s certainly not the only thing to see or do in The Presidio, but we think it makes for a quirky start or end to the day here. We do NOT, however, recommend it for a first date…that would be really weird. 

Effort Required: Navigating a mountain for porn, strip clubs, and tourists

Right on the edge of North Beach’s rowdiest weekend party scene, Specs’ 12 Adler Museum Café is one our favorite – and downright bizarre – San Francisco dive bars. Trying to list some of the venue’s hodgepodge décor is probably a good way to give you an indication of what we mean: maritime instruments, giant Indian statue, mummy wearing glasses, animal bones, hundreds of newspapers clippings, flags from all over the word, random bumper stickers, a grizzled dude perpetually planted on one stool who may or may not be Elvis, it’s all here. The bar is hidden down an alley and very easy to miss, but once inside you’ll find a packed house of hipsters, poets, artists, and old farts all drinking and dishing. It’s definitely not a place to see and be seen, but it’s definitely a place to see. 

Effort Required: There will be sand in your crack.

At the time of its completion in the late 1800s, the Sutro Baths complex was the largest indoor swimming facility in the world. The building was quite impressive: a massive structure of glass and iron that was installed so artfully into an inlet north of Ocean Beach you could walk the ridge above it completely unaware of the seven swimming pools, museum, ice skating rink, and 8,000-capacity concert hall that all lay hidden below. Sadly, the business suffered exorbitant operating costs and burned down in the 1960s, but the spooky concrete remnants remain, easily accessed from the big parking lot where Point Lobos Avenue hits Lands End Trail. After walking the grounds, you can always get a fancy dinner at the historic Cliff House nearby, but we suggest getting a big group together and having a bonfire on Ocean Beach instead, where you can toast to all the history that has yet to come. 

Effort Required: You have to leave when they tell you to. 

So it’s Thursday night. Maybe you have to work tomorrow, but you’re dying to do something and you can’t wait till the weekend. We suggest combining a little education with booze (it’s proven to lessen hangovers) at the California Academy of Sciences, which stays open late on Thursdays strictly for the 21+ crowd. If you’ve been to the museum by day, you’re already familiar with this one hundred thousand square-foot building packed with incredible exhibits, aquariums, a massive replica of a rain forest, and the largest all-digital projection screen on the planet. Now imagine getting to check out all of that with a drink in hand as multiple DJs and/or live bands get attendees deep into party mode! Can you say “best…date…ever?” The Academy’s party is over at 10pm, but for most of the young crowd who comes here, the night is just beginning. 

Effort Required: Resist serving the dogs any beer!

There’s something just so right about sharing a few beers with your dog. We don’t mean actually sharing the beer, of course (the bar stocks plenty of treats for Fido), but Stray Bar is that kind of classic neighborhood drinking den where it doesn’t take long for everyone to feel like best friends. Located on the far edge of Mission valley in Bernal Heights – a neighborhood that many born and raised in the city have never set foot in – the bar, like Bernal itself, attracts a mix of lesbians, artists, and progressive young families in need of a people-and-dog-friendly watering hole. Stray opens early for Giants games, though you’d hardly call it a sports bar, and the Tuesday night trivia hosted by a local drag queen legend is known to get pretty wild considering how early in the week it is. Of course, if you overdo it on Tuesday, you can also stumble back in on Wednesday for a little hair of the dog.

Ba-dum bump!