Meat-Marketing In The Big Apple

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Aug 20, 2012 —  New York was an expanse of swamps and open water before this masterpiece of a metropolis came to be, and much could be said of its stunning architecture, rich art and culture, and the behemoth financial centers that single-handedly control vast stretches of the world economy.

(Yawn).

Yes, the city's history and refinement is amazing, but tonight we’ve got an edacious one-track mind that only a hopping New York meat-market can satisfy. We don’t want velvet ropes, pretentious airs, quiet neighborhood pubs, or anything with the words “Prohibition-style” in its description (if we wanted to drink like grandpa used to, we’d just buy a gallon of box wine and start screaming incoherently at the TV).

Everybody needs a crazy night sometimes. Whether it’s the stresses of school, a painful day at the office, or it’s just been awhile since you woke up without any pants on, nothing recharges the batteries like first depleting them completely with multiple rounds of cheap booze, a packed and sweaty dance floor, and a shoulder-to-shoulder crowd out for the same reason you are.

Will you meet the person of your dreams at one of our favorite crazy NY bars below? Probably not. But we think they hold great promise for hosting a riotous night beyond imagination. And we’re going to take you there…

…just as soon as we find our pants.