Jul 26, 2012 — The Olympics are nearly upon us! That awe-inspiring international event when thousands of athletes from all over the world come together to display incredible feats of strength, agility, speed, and once again try to convince us that race walking doesn’t just look like a mass of people trying to covertly find a bathroom.
Specific event opinions aside, the Olympics are probably the only global activity where representatives from almost every country on Earth participate. It’s a time when politics and blind nationalism give way to the very core of the human spirit; when prowess is indifferent to profit; when astonishingly dedicated preparation can be laid to waste in a fraction of a second.
And when 100-pound women send ping-pong balls rocketing with such speed you wonder why the military hasn’t hired them for assault squads.
But before we investigate rumors of covert experiments to create Teenage Mutant Ping-ja Turtles, we at Party Earth have something else in mind that’s better suited for those of us forced to watch the 2012 Olympic Games from afar: drinking games!
Sure, alcohol-related contests paired with sports viewing are nothing new. But neither are the Olympics...and they seem to be doing okay.
So without further ado – we present Part I of our Olympic-Sized Drinking Games series:
The Opening Ceremonies!
1. Every time the announcer talks about how much work went in to setting up the Games this year, drink.
2. Every time the announcer mentions how something perfectly represents the host country’s culture, drink.
3. Every time they show an adorable child somehow involved in the ceremony, drink.
4. If any birds are released, drink.
5. Every time the announcer has to tirelessly explain some culturally relevant display so the rest of the world can understand it, drink.
6. During the procession, every participant must drink for every flag they don’t recognize (this one could get ugly).
7. Lay out enough shots for everyone in your group. Set them aflame. Every time the torch is passed, take a shot.
8. As the opening ceremony comes to a close, drink every time the announcer says the words “magical,” “magnificent,” or some permutation of “we can only imagine what lies in store.”